Matched in cardiology, but I am also disappointed.

I wanted to share something personal about the Match, partly to process it myself and partly in case others are feeling the same way.

I am an IMG on J-1, who trained at a community medical center, with no real mentorship, no institutional research machine behind me, and no easy opportunities. My step scores are in 240s. Everything I achieved- every abstract, every paper, every project. I had to build from scratch. I worked incredibly hard over the past few years sleeping 4-5 hours a day, as I used to spend 7-8 post residency work writing research papers because I truly believed effort would eventually speak for itself. I also spent all my vacations during residency to write research papers for others, who I thought would support me but dint. I applied with 10 full length manuscripts and 40 abstracts.

This year, I ended up falling down my rank list all the way to my 7th choice, matching into a community cardiology fellowship. I am grateful that I matched truly. Cardiology has been my dream for a long time, and I know many talented people don’t match at all.

But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t struggling a bit emotionally.

Some of my med school friends, also IMGs, matched into university programs with minimal research, little effort, and in some cases, a much more relaxed approach to residency, as they are from a big residency program. Many benefited from connections and systems that I simply didn’t have access to. Seeing that from the outside makes me question whether all the extra effort was worth it.

I am happy and grateful, but I am also disappointed. It’s a strange mix. I can’t shake the feeling that I didn’t get what I should have for the amount of work, sacrifice and discipline I put in.

If anyone has been through something similar, how did you move forward? How do you find peace with your journey when it feels like the system rewarded connections more than effort? And how do you keep believing that the hard work will pay off long-term, even if the short-term outcome wasn’t what you hoped for?

I know that at the end of the day, fellowship is just one step and what you do with the opportunity matters more than the name. I just want to get to a place mentally where I can genuinely feel that way.

Any advice or perspective would really help.