Unfulfilled mfm kink

So for context my wife and I are 16 yrs strong. We have a great relationship with 4 kids. Sex has always been the challenge. I am a 3 times..or more per day kinda guy. Lol, no I could be happy with less especially if i had some of my kinks fulfilled mfm being the biggest one I cant get over. We are still in shape and attractive, typically the best looking couple in the room type.

I love pleasing and the idea of sharing seems like it would be just that for her more pleasure and then for me too watching her cum like crazy. The idea of having her and all her beauty to share and have others admire is hot asf. We have had many discussions and she has teased me some over the years by acknowledging things that she might try. Although whenever I try to make it real she shuts it down. This has progressed and now she is avoiding these pillow talk discussions more and more. This all seems to make me want it more than ever though.

A few examples of the teasing:

I wont say this started the kink but this was an early igniter in me for it with her. Halloween party in our mid 20s, she and a friend went down to the dance floor. From above friends husband and I watched the girls dance, suddenly they had allowed a few guys to join them and dance provocatively in front of us. Looking up at us some of the time. Honestly I was almost livid at the time. This wasnt the first time of her being a flirt though. After talking a little about it and thinking through it I had come to decide why care. Let her have fun, shes still coming home with me. This is when the idea of sharing her became more than something I enjoyed watching in porn, or imagining with other married women when I was a young single.

During pillowtalk over the years she has told me the folowing things. That she would like it in the mouth and pussy. Mentioning she might try two in her pussy. That she would more enjoy sex with another man than woman. At times she has seemingly given in and said set it up, although those have always been said without fully buying in. She most often plays with her vibrator and cums heavily and multiple times during these discussions. When she is on me and I dirty talk she has a tendency to creme me like she doesnt during normal intercourse too, and the orgasms are stronger no doubt. Which I love and just further makes me think lets do it..

Continuing on my dilemma...

I hate that I pester her as she doesnt always play along as I mentioned above. Sometimes it stops well short of her saying any of those things. I realize more often than not now she isnt appreciating it. But I can't stop, its burnt into me now and I want more than anything else sexual. The times we have cummed together to it have been so good. The hope she gave is seemingly still there that maybe she will say yes.

Its about time to give up trying with her, and idk what to do with my kink. She has given me the ok to explore but isnt 100% in support, she doesnt really want to know or be there. Now I am sure joining another couple would help fulfill the kink for me but its not quite like having her withbme would be.

I am at this point into it too much and feel I need to try it. Looked a little made a few hotwife connections but its hard none materialized yet. I dont want to take away from busy work/family life, but I so badly want to try this kink.

Thoughts, advice, or any other dirty thoughts welcome.😈 Thanks for reading!