starting my journey

For context I am 21 F. I recently came out as a lesbian and I think my porn addiction is what made it so hard for me to realize my sexuality.

More context: I was exposed to porn when I was 5 years old. It started with me constantly sneaking and looking at my parents play boy magazines. Then obviously as I got older I got access to the internet.

I think my addiction has made me disgusted by the thought of having sex in real life. I thought I was asexual for a while. I recently got my first crush and came out to my friends. I’ve realized how bad porn has ruined my life. It’s made me not want to start dating. It’s given me so much shame. I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to get a girlfriend and not be the best for her because of this.

I’m wondering if other people have the same experience? With porn delaying the want to have sex and find romantic relationships. I’ll take any advice.

I used to think that porn was only bad for men, but I think it’s still equally bad for women. I’ve tried to quit in the past but I think this time I can really do it. I believe in myself.