Breaking the cycle

What is your take on parenting as a trauma child. I came from a very abusive upbringing and now that I have my own child I just want to show love.

We all have some sort of trauma as a child and some have more than others. I’m on the line I THINK, I could be past it but it was such a norm that it doesn’t feel all that bad until I say it out loud.

After being abused since basically out of the womb in many ways that one and from many outside factors, I couldn’t see myself hurting my own child in any form.

Am I overcompensating for the fact that I’m still in pain from what happened to me my entire life?

Long story short:

Mother was unstable and very hurt herself. Dad was abusive and a pedophile (found this out a year ago) Stepdad was a crackhead abusive deadbeat as well.

Mother never married after my stepdad and died alone sadly. Her children estranged.

In the upbringing I was beat, SA’d and manipulated. That’s to say the least, I was also abandoned many times by my mother and family members shunned me for being the child of the least favorite or the sisters. I was bullied since the first grade about my name and weight at the time. Fast forward to my dating attempts, they all ended in me being cheated on and abused in some shape or form.

But still I’m here today with a heart so heavy and I’ve been left to feel vulnerable and sensitive.

Having my own child I don’t know how to not overcompensate and keep it together for her. I wasn’t raised properly and everything I do now is like living through my baby. I don’t want her to be sensitive like me, or emotional like me. I’m hurt but she doesn’t have to. Any suggestions on ways I can approach parenting with a heavy heart.