My anxiety is extremely treatment resistant. Nothing is helping.

For context I have had social anxiety for as long as I was conscious. My earliest memories as a three and four year old are of social situations in which I was nervous.

I have had jobs where I had to be around lots of people and frequently socialize (cashier and stocking). As well as been on dates and had a couple of relationships.

But even with pushing my self so hard to just try and do things as quickly as possible so I don’t have time to think about how nervous I am nothing works to get rid of or lessen my anxiety much at all. Every job I have had I am just as nervous at every interview as I was at my first one. Same with dates.

I am so exhausted of the constant chest pain, sweating, shaking, stomach problems, and intrusive thoughts. I just want to avoid everything since the enjoyment I get from doing things never seems to be worth the effort and physically painful side effects that come along with it.

I tried therapy for a bit as a teenager (CBT and exposure therapy). And medication (Prozac and Zoloft). I have bought self help books for social anxiety, tried to self medicate with weed and alcohol, gotten sober and started taking supplements.

Absolutely nothing has made a significant improvement. I recently had a mental health crisis and ended up having to quit my job.

I can’t afford to try therapy again at the moment. But I would be open to hearing any suggestions that have helped anyone else (even if they are costly, I could try and save up when I get a job again.) Thank you to anyone who responds.