People are so self absorbed

I don’t have a single friend. Despite being social. I am just a last resort friend or an emotional dumpster. People genuinely don’t seem interested in getting to know me, I’ve never been asked anything about myself. Like every conversation is you you you. Every subject is you you you. Anytime I bring up anything I get a “mm” “yeah” “cool” then it’s goes back to you. And it’s not like I want a lot, maybe if I talk about this book I like you can ask “is it good”, “what is it about”, and basic shit like that shows me you give a shit.

But nope, I have to listen to any of your random opinions on a subject I know nothing about and don’t particularly care about, I have to listen to all your problems, and every time something good happens I put you on a fucking throne, while if something even above average happens to me not even a half assed “good for you”. And the thing is I do care about you, and stuff you care about, just I just want a tenth of that for me too.

People I have been talking to for months or years. Don’t know anything about me, I have an obvious scar on my hand, and no one has ever asked me why or how. While I know shit that happened to your fucking grand parents. You know why you never bothered to ask, and I did.

While when I get to know people knew people. I am fairly social and will take the first step and to get to know you. Ofc I do it with social awareness, so I don’t come accross as to strong or obnoxious. But literally it’s like I have invisible ink. I am like a iPhone 6 to these people, you’ll use me when you don’t have a phone, but the second you have something better you’ll throw me away. The conversation are so bland and boring, not because I’m not up for anything just you don’t care unless it’s directly about you that makes you feel like a diamond. I.e somebody liking you, you being attractive/smart, etc. that’s the only time I can get a conversation is when I make up how precious you are. Then you turn in too the first kind of person I talked about.

I always end up around this type of people. And disconnect. I hate being alone so I’ll take anyone in a social setting, but second I get free time I go far away from these people and never look back.

I just wish I could have friends and talk to people, without like them being so absorbed with themselves. I do understand we love talking about ourselves and it’s okay I would love to talk about you, genuinely. But maybe I would just like an ounce of you giving the slightest shit about me?