Is the financial manipulation or am I overthinking?

My husband and I have been married for 21 years. We both work full-time jobs, and our paychecks go into a joint account. We also each have small separate accounts where a little bit of money is deposited from our paychecks. He makes over $100k a year, and I make $70k. His job allows him to work as many hours as he wants and earn extra income, but my job doesn’t offer that option.

We split all the bills and nothing is separate. Whenever either of us wants to buy something, we usually communicate. But I’ve never really had the chance to spend my own income on personal things, because my entire paycheck always goes toward the household bills along with his.

We both have a history of overspending, but recently I’ve noticed his spending and shopping have increased. When I asked about it, he justified it by saying that because he works extra hours, his shopping is “covered.” However, when I bought a few things, he questioned me and asked, “How are you going to pay that off? You don’t have any extra money on your paycheck.” I feel like if I didn’t have to use my entire paycheck on bills, I could cover my personal spending too. He disagrees with that and insists that my entire paycheck is “accounted for” for household expenses. This is starting to feel like manipulation and financial control. Whenever I mention splitting the bills more fairly or creating a different system, he gets frustrated and angry. Recently, something happened that crossed a major boundary. He took my phone, called my name so I’d look at him, and used my face to unlock my banking app without my consent. He saw that I had been putting $100 into my separate account every two weeks. He told me that needed to stop because I “have bills to pay” and he “cannot pay all my bills.” At this point, I’m feeling confused and uncomfortable. This feels financially controlling, but I want outside perspective. What I need advice on: Is this financial manipulation or financial abuse? How should I handle this situation, and what steps should I take to protect myself?

TL;DR: Husband makes more money, can work unlimited hours, and freely spends on shopping. My entire paycheck goes to bills, and he questions any purchase I make. He gets angry when I mention splitting bills differently. He recently unlocked my banking app using my face without permission and told me to stop putting money into my separate account. I feel financially controlled and need advice on what to do.