I'm tired of walking around eggshells in my own home and i wish my mom wasnt so mad all of the time

I feel so guilty for feeling sad over this because apart from this issue my mom is a great parent, but I just cant get past this. Ever since i was little my mom screams at me and berates me every time she gets even the tiniest bit mad, its not like she just screams and calms down, she keeps going for even half an hour at a time. Im aware this is normal but it still makes me sad. It got better these last years, it was especially bad in my childhood, I remember when i was playing at a friends house to be wishing not to go home because i knew my mom would scream at me for something.

(Tw: sh) The worst time it happened was when she found out i was self-harming, it was around christmas and she was drunk af because she spent the entire day drinking with my aunties in my grandma's house, and then at night when everyone was going home my cousin invited me to have a sleepover there, but i wanted to go home so i said that I wanted to sleep at home. (We were going to see eachother the next day anyway) But my mom didnt take that well, since she wanted to go to a bar after, so the entire way home she screamed, called me names and said some really hurtful things. All that while we were walking in the street, with people watching. When we arrived, she kept going. She didnt leave me alone, I went to take a bath, and I dont remember exactly why or how it happened but she banged on the door untill i opened it, then saw my scars (they're on my upper arm, and since i was only wearing a towel they were visible) and started screaming more, even getting physically violent. I dont remember much more of that night, only that I had some panic attacks over it in the next year.

I know she works a lot, i know she had to sacrifice a lot of things to raise me and my sister, but i dont see how its fair for her to take out her rage on me