Just need someone to listen

I’m 28 male, just went through a really hard breakup after almost 4 years. I don’t want this to ruin the holidays for me in the future but I’ve done everything with this girl and I can’t bring myself to show up alone to these family holidays. I’m still clinging onto hope as it’s only been 2 days since she’s ended things. I just got off work to a house that doesn’t feel like home anymore. I’m alone with my cat and dog, I know it’s my fault I really don’t blame her, I’ve been so focused on work, working 6 days a week so I neglected our relationship. This first night alone is so hard as soon as I got home I just balled my eyes out, I had so many great things planned for next year with her but I gave her below bare minimum to the point she felt we were just roommates. Am I foolish to hold out hope for her to give me another chance? Because goddamn would I give it my all to make sure she’s happy but I think I’m too late. She’s given me over 3 years to figure my shit out she’s been patient long enough so I can’t hate her. I completely understand how she feels so I don’t have any negative feelings towards her other than myself. I wish I did things differently.