Did I solve depression (no lol but maybe I can help)???

cw: mentions of sewer slide

First of all I want to say that I get it. All this advice is coming from someone who deals with chronic depression, SH and SI (I have made several a**mpt$). I have been have struggling a lot more recently and have really been trying to figure out what it actually means to “cope” with depression because it’s unfortunately not as simple as mental health professionals and other people like to think.

Most people’s advice to people like us is to reach out to someone, take a walk, shower, do something relaxing, distract yourself, do something with friends, talk to family, talk to a therapist. That would be really nice except that for 99% of ppl with depression none of these suggestions does shit myself included.

I currently have nobody. Absolutely nobody to talk to—not family, not friends (my best friend stabbed me in the back and abandoned me like a month ago which is probs part of the reason I am having this super bad episode), and I see my therapist once a week. Anyone with severe or even less severe depression knows that once a week feels like once a decade. Plus it’s an hour where you usually discuss more useless coping strategies. And for someone with high sewerslidal tendencies anything can happen in a week.

I have been at the height of desperation. I know what it’s like to not have a reason or even a sort of push or light to motivate you to keep trying. I also have rly bad ocd (mostly intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions) so I know what it’s like to feel paralyzed by your brain. I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do—I’ve even texted 988 a bajillion times, but it doesn’t work.

ANYWAYS the reason I’m talking about all of this is to hopefully give someone the push we all need. Here is what works for me (also when I say works I mean it is nearly the bare bare minimum except it actually pushes you forward very very slowly):

1. Give up. Yes I know it sounds counterintuitive and I don’t mean give up on life. I mean give up that weight that’s on you. You’re still gonna feel depressed but I’ve found that there is almost always something that feels necessary to stay attached to that I can start letting go of. It actually goes along with depressive behaviors like not being able to get out of bed or do basic tasks. Example: I’m in college rn and I’ve spent the past months feeling like a zombie. I’m slowly realizing that it’s not purely chemical (I do still have this factor and am on meds) but that sometimes what seems like your supposed to be doing to get better is the very thing suffocating you. I am realizing that I am not meant for college—not because I’m stupid or hate learning or don’t want to have a stable life, but because it chokes out every ounce of joy I have for life (which is already strained by depression). I sat in bed the past days not studying and I have finals next week, but I am starting to feel like I can breathe bc I have decided that I’m gonna drop out next semester—not because I failed but because I am winning. I am building a life I want to want. Again I get it I know what the hopelessness feels like and I’m not dropping out without a plan.

2. Plan. Just go onto Google and search. Replace the hours of doomscrolling with doomsearching. Let your hopelessness fuel your hope because if you’re hopeless about your life it means you can make something completely new and yours. You have the opportunity that so many do not have—to reassess and choose a path that makes sense for YOU not for society. Going to Harvard does not make someone better in fact there are plenty of Ivy League assholes who make the world worse every day. Search for work or volunteering opportunities abroad (they give you completely free accommodations and sometimes pay). Search for entry level internships/jobs that don’t require degrees (there are more than you think) and understand that many employers often prefer job experience over degrees. Watch YouTube videos about people who dropped out of college or restarted their lives. Read blogs, find niches that give you even a tiny flicker of hope. Simplify everything. The meaning of life is whatever you want. Let that liberate you. Money exists but joy is far more important. I suppose I am speaking from the perspective of a young single person so maybe this isn’t perfectly applicable to people who have kids or are older, but I think there is always a way to pivot. Think of this as guided daydreaming basically.

3. Countdowns Think of one thing you know you have to do—specifically something that is not extremely time consuming (so not writing a paper or doing taxes but more like taking a shower, laundry, washing dishes things like that) and channel all your hopeless, sadness, rage, emptiness as you count down from five and on zero you force your ass out of bed. Personally I like to count down out loud and then say something like “get your lazy ass up and just do it” I know it sounds like kind of negative self talk but we are talking about survival here not achieving perfect happiness and self love. Sometimes you gotta kind of tough love yourself idk it works for me.

4. First fix the basics. This one is a bit more obvious and if you’re familiar with DBT think of PLEASE skills.

Have you eaten today? Do a countdown and eat something with some protein (a bar, cheese, a protein filled grain, a cup of milk, beans, turkey slices/rotisserie meat, eggs, cereal, oatmeal). Drink water.

Did you take your meds? Countdown and take them. Even if you have to sip water from the sink instead going to get a cup.

Did you shower and brush your teeth? Probably not lol (from experience). Count down and turn on the shower and just get in. You can go from there.

Did you spend all day on your phone? Put it down with a countdown. And stare at the ceiling for as long as you need just don’t go to your phone. Think about any other of these tasks you haven’t done and eventually get up and do them—don’t just rot in your brain.

Are you on your period or close? This is sometimes a culprit for me. It helps me to know it might pass. Gives me motivation to just get until the end of it.

5. Get WEIRD. Yes, rly fucking weird. Put on a loud upbeat dance song and twerk and jump and dance terribly it doesn’t matter just do it until your sweating and something shifts a little in your mind.

Walk around your house/room talking to yourself. Let your mouth be in charge. Repeat words and phrases. Make weird noises. Grunt, groan, cry, say things in a silly voice like “yeah I’m so sad” in a baby voice or SpongeBob voice. Introduce yourself to yourself. Swear and curse. Talk about the weather until it leads you elsewhere. Make up raps and poems out loud let them be awful. Make fun of yourself. Laugh. Sit down on the floors of different rooms and look at the ceilings. Be a child. Spin around like you used until you’re so dizzy the floor is moving collapse on the floor. Breathe. Sing out loud. Anything. It can be the alphabet.

6. Make movement in your life. Every new thing you do moves you forward. And when I say new I mean it at the most minute level of new. Sing out loud in a voice you haven’t rly used before. Learn about a job on indeed that wasn’t there last week. You’re just trying to reactivate your brain. Making. Life move a little tiny bit more than before.

7. Repeat. Push yourself a little more each time. You wanna kys? You’ll die eventually just try dancing for a few minutes. Then play some Minecraft before you know it it’s actual bed time and maybe you’ll start to recharge your biological battery and maybe your mind will slowly catch up.

Tl;dr Just push slowly. From one depressed soul to another you can do it. Like actually. Also I do actually recommend some of the suggestions. Some might surprise you or inspire you :))

I rly hoped this help. Comment if you have any other niche and actually helpful tips! So much love to you all! Fighting depression takes fucking guts.