Tips on controlling tone?

Hi, I was diagnosed like 2-3 years ago when I was 17-16 and I was kind of just handed the diagnosis and sent on my merry way so I’ve been trying to learn about my diagnosis myself. One thing that’s been brought up many times is “the way I speak” as my mother puts it. 80% of our arguments stems from her blowing up at something I said that felt normally to me but to her it was my attitude. I want to learn how to control my tone and wondered if anyone on here had any tips. I don’t really hear myself using the wrong tone but she definitely does ;-;

The reason for finally biting the bullet and making this post is because of the argument we just had. I woke up came downstairs to go to the bathroom and realised my period had broken through my pill, I was rightly a bit annoyed and sad but whatever. When I tried to find pads there wasn’t any so I went to the living room after finishing up and said “No pads I take it”. I expected one of two responses along the lines of “No there isn’t any, are you on your period? I’ll get some later” or “yes there’s some in xxx”. Instead it was a case of:

Mum: “Pads?” Me: “Yes” Mum: “why?” Me: “because I’m bleeding” (I did slightly raise my voice in a sense of frustration that I’m on me period again” Mum: “THEN WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SAY THAT” Me: “I DID?!??”

Argument proceeds. I explained that what I said initially indicates that I was looking for pads but there weren’t any and the fact I was looking indicates my period. She then said it was the way I said it, stormed off and muttered things about me watching how I speak to people. Clearly this is a huge issue on my part since this is a constant battle and I was just wondering how you guys deal with it.

Thank you for reading I’m a bit frustrated right now so sorry if I don’t sound as neutral as I want to be, I struggle with messages sometimes. <3