How To Explain To My Partner That I Do Not Enjoy Sex?

I (35F) do not enjoy sex, and unfortunately I think a lot of it has to do with my partners (36M) approach to foreplay and the act itself.

His idea of foreplay is basically pour lube on a toy and stick it in. I have to remind him most times that women do not work like that - we need it to be “teased awake” so to speak.

After that he rubs the outside for a bit and slides the toy along my belly (which is more like, what? why?). But never for very long.

I can probably count on one hand the number of times he’s played with my clit, and he always uses toys - never fingers.

None of this really does anything for me, and I find that at this point sex is more like a chore than anything truly fun.

My problem is that I have only been with 2 people (and one of those was just once), so I don’t really have much to compare to.

I also have issues “finishing” which likely does not help. But when I “do it myself” I enjoy it regardless.

I don’t really know how to bring this up to him and explain it, cause I don’t want to like hurt him or anything. Any advice on how I can bring it up in a nice manner?