Facing addictions : our experiences

Hey I will present my struggles then you can answer or present your personal struggles about addictions and achievements and how you succeed if yes.

I've been doing semen retention for one month, it was my best then I relapsed , and after the relapse I loosed the control again.

I fapped Then I fapped again Then I smoke weed at night Then I fapped again.

Yesterday it happens again I was having a hard time to not relapse because I watched erotic contents before. Then I was intoxicated by it, and my desir disturbs me. I stayed hours for that, then I meditate before for 30 minutes and after that I relapsed on porn, and I thought at list I do it consciouly, i will longly watching to be conscious (what is maybe not good because I've been exposed to pornography longer) And then I said well that's ok let's go sleep. Then I wanted to do it again so I did Unfortunalty I wasn't too much conscious of the pain I was in and I've tried lemon balm this night for my sleep or if there is any positive effects on my physical pain. Unfortunately It does the opposite and I couldnt sleep because of the physical pain that makes me very anxious.

Then my psychological state deteriorated a lot through the insomnia and I decided to smoke weed again. I said once a month beceause it's bad for memory, addictive and I don't like smoking because I want healthy lungs. I did it then I fapped again and the categories were more extrem. Then this morning the first thing I did is fap. So I'm loosing the control, and I know that it will.be even more difficult now because I fed my addictions.

By talking about addictions they are others For me addictions mean harmful tendancies that the concerned person isn't able to be free of at the moment. I have others --) scratch my hairs being obsessed with
Scratch my feet (I used to literally tear my skin off) Have imaginatory talking with people in my head, and this is the most difficult one, because it's non stop and it asks so much attention to not be engaged in it. Ear worms Sugar of course or tendance to over eat but this I just have to buy healthy food and it resolve a part of the issue Anxiety ? Technically this a strong tendancy that even meditation(at list for now) can't cancel and that I don't have control over it Social medias also can be addictive