> Still in the countryside...

 > Now with my parents, for real. 

> My friends (who asked me to be a bridesmaid) brought me here and came to invite my parents to the wedding.

 > The atmosphere, as always, is absurdly contradictory... 

> "Hey skinny girl, your legs look nice," my mother says when I arrive.

 > "Hello DEADNAME," my father says calmly. My brother is on the sofa playing some new FPS game, he doesn't talk to me or even look at me.

 > My friends invite my parents to their wedding, they tell him I'll be a bridesmaid. 

> "Groomsman, right?"  She ask.

> "No, *bridesmaid*, I already took *HER* to buy the dress today," the bride replies. 

> I'm putting my suitcase in my old room, my mother comes in and closes the door. "What did you buy?"

 > "One outfit, it was 200 reais, it was cheap for a wedding outfit."

 > "What outfit, DEADNAME?"  

> "A dress..." 

> "You're going to wear a dress to your best friend's wedding? Poor guy, you even thought of that." 

> "I wear dresses, Mom... all the time... he never cared once when he saw them."

 > "You... at least the dress looked nice, DEADNAME?"

 > "If it's embarrassing for you, you don't have to go." 

> "Fuck off DEADNAME, don't be a jerk." 

> Leaves the room. 

> Later I'm sitting at the kitchen table, she comes in and hands me a women's perfume. 

> "I didn't like it, you can keep it, DEADNAME." 

Is this support? Is it repression? I honestly don't know... so many mixed messages, all the time... poof... Atlast the place's still beautiful

Mixed Messages