UPDATE! I want to break no contact with my ex bestfriend.

Sooo she took less time than I expected to answer, and I think the answer was positive? She told me that she was not expecting that kind of text from me at all, but that she did appreciate it. She told me she would've liked to hear more from me during the first year of our friendship breakup, as we didn't talk to eachother at all, and that she did miss me too. She also told me that she isn't sure of my intentions here. She clarified that she's not in a great moment mentally to be dealing with fake friends, and that she needed me to clarify my intentions. As I mentioned on my previous post, I moved countries a year back, and I will eventually move back to my city, in which she lives. She mentioned that she wasn't sure whether I was contacting her because I no longer had friends in my old city or if I genuinely missed her. She asked me to please be a 100% honest as she really didn't want to put herself in such a vulnerable position if my intentions weren't genuine.

That was a couple days back. I answered her with a long text explaining that I did in fact want her for her, not because I had or didnt have any friends back home. Her friend group used to be mine and we didn't really end on any good terms because it was kind of a toxic enviroment, so none of them actually know pretty much anything about the last two years of my life. To clarify, I do have friends back home, my old friends have never met them because by the time I did, we weren't really friends anymore. The past couple of years of my life I have learned what an actual, meaningful, healthy and loving friendship is like, and I have truly changed as a person. I can now say that the old friend group I use to have was genuinly really toxic. They weren't bad people, but the enviroment we had made us all have really toxic behaviours against one another, and from what I've heard, it hasn't changed at all. So, I am not offended by her suggesting I had selfish intentions, because I knew thats the first place her mind would go to, specially if she has mentioned me reaching out to the rest of her friends. If I'm not mistaken, they are all trying to convince her that I'm actually just taking advantage of her, and I'm okay with that. It's just a way for me to know whether she is ready to take that step with me and give me a chance regardless of what other people say, or if she's using the shit others talk about me to shield herself from trying.

I'm over that friendgroup, and before anyone says anything, yes, I just to be the biggest bitch when I lived back home. No, I'm not gonna blame on them my behaviours. I had shitty behaviours and I never saw them as such 'cause I was surrounded by people who acted the same way. I have changed, I am not that girl anymore, I have grown up and matured and that is something that I was only able to do once I stepped out of that toxic circle. I know for a fact they're not bad people. They have been in that circle so long that they don't know anything but those toxic friendship, which they see as normal. I just hope that my ex bestfriend sees through them and gives me a chance to prove I am not who I use to be.

Thank you all for the advice, I'm really happy I listened. I'm genuinly really happy to hear she's willing to give me a chance, you don't know how much she means to me. Lots of love yall, Merry Christmas!