Can you provide some guidance?

I’m going back and forth between LC and NC with my family. I have done the work to know that my role in the family is purely to serve them and there is nothing I get out of it. There’s no sense of love or belonging, just obligation. I have a pretty difficult childhood history that I’m finally addressing that includes a lot of abuse (physical, sexual, emotional), and everything in me wants to go NC, but I feel like I’m being over-reactive to something that happened 30 years ago (that I’m only now in a safe enough space to heal from). I’m also afraid of hurting people (I know, logic says they’ve hurt me a lot, but this isn’t a personal vendetta).

I have taken space from them this year and have only experienced healthy changes. Specifically being able to start healing my past. I’ve made huge strides. But I keep getting thrown back when I get the unexpected call/text/email. To be clear, I have not told them or talked to them about my experience as a child, nor do I plan to. I have a lot of experiences to pull from that tell me it wouldn’t be held appropriately or safe to have those conversations. How I choose to heal what they broke is none of their business.

I guess my question is: if I go LC, how have you communicated that (or not)? And same with NC? Have you had a conversation to set boundaries and expectations? Or do you just not feed into the dialogue? TIA.