AITA for getting frustrated at my wife?

My wife and I have been having what I would describe as blow-ups out of nowhere. She has past trauma and I'm sure I have my quirks and flaws too.

A couple of days ago I had been working away and got home, made an evening meal for us (I cook) as we sat down to eat we heard the neighbour outside with a utility engineer. Wife weanted me to go outside (we'd both just showered as were basically ready for bed) to check on things, which I declined calmly and suggested if the talking was going to bother her (she's very anxious) we should just eat in another room, and that if there was actually a problem that affected us then the engineer would tell us. That did not go down well and I got the silent treatment for the rest of the night. I just wanted to move on and have a quiet evening together without the anxiety spectre.

Yesterday morning she asked me what to do about a health issue, which I had already done a deep dive and answered a day or so prior, so I got slightly frustrated as I answered. Not my best move but this set the scene for a slow fuze of rage building in her. She is very anxious at the moment with HRT effects, and 99% of the time I try to talk through it whith her. 1% of the time I do get frustrated. I can't always be the perfect husband, but that is the expectation. In my mind I was quite pleasant the rest of the day. We had a chat about my difficult parents and then a few mins later joined each other to watch a movie. Something had changed and the rage popped out. Apparently the way I walked in with my phone (not using it, I might add) was enough. Silent treatment. Today I gave her an opportunity to talk and it seems I ruined the day. Not only that but I'm just like my dad (she knows that triggers me) and I'm awful to be around. Basically every word I said (and the way I said it) made me awful to be around.

For all you know she was right. The thing is, I felt in a good mood and I was happy to be home after a busy week.

She is perimenopausal and is trying high dose estrogen. I know this fits the above, but if I try to express a different point of view I am gaslighting her. She has been like this before the HRT and apparently it is another bad trait of mine that I remember all the unpleasant things she says during these blow ups.

I'm not happy or fulfilled. She likes to be held, but doesnt like me to flirt. She never flirts or really expresses affection physically, and it's getting worse. I know menopause can be a real challenge and I'm trying to be helpful. I'm just tired of feeling like the enemy.

What is going on here? IS this perimenopause and hormone supplements or is this a fundamental difference between us? Or AITA for getting snippy?