Around 9 years ago my sister found this silver necklace with a falcon on the ground. I wasn’t into Norse Paganisms back then, but as my chosen name was Falk at the time, it made sense that it was for me. I took the name after my grandmother, who had it as her maiden name before she married. She’s always been an inspiration to me, and I found strength in the name — so I choose it as my first name. In many ways Falk helped me connect to my masculinity, or accept that that’s also a part of me. Years later, after navigating my journey and my relationship to my gender, I felt a strong need to connect more to my femininity. The name Falk didn’t really represent fully who I was becoming. I then changed name again to what I go by now; Ursula. 

Almost a year ago I gave this necklace to a dear friend. I felt like the necklace just reminded me of a past version, and even though it gave me direction and strength for a while, I wanted him to have it and take care of it. Maybe it would give him strength, direction or inspiration. 

Yesterday I got it back, I cried so much and it was beautiful. In the past months i’ve gotten more into Norse Paganisms, and feel a strong connection to Freyja. When I learned about her connection to Falcons, something clicked. Getting this amulet back now just made so much sense to me. It’s as if it was her back then, without me knowing. 

I was assigned female, but needed to experience masculinity in order to connect again with my femininity. For a moment, when my name was Falk, I thought I was a man — but that also just felt wrong.  I grew up christian and the first name I was given was associated to the bible. It was a name of a woman that was just a wife. It never felt like me. I had to break out of society’s limited gender roles in order to redefine what femininity is to me. Maybe Freyja was there all along to guide me as a Falcon, as Falk? To then later realise that I’m a woman after all, but free from those limitations that my christian upbringing imposed on me.  

I now carry this amulet with me and see it in a new light. I feel like it’s Freyja reminding me of my strength. It’s not even about being a woman or not, its about being me — with all my layers and «past» versions in me; but maybe most importantly who I’m becoming. 

Personal story / connecting to Freyja