will it ever get better?

i’ve been thinking about this for a while and wanted to know if anyone with schizoid traits, or those who are diagnosed, has actually improved with treatment or time.

I’ve been in a state of emotional numbness for years. i don’t feel much of anything, at all. of course, people view me weird because i don’t fit their standards of what a “normal” person should be. i had only one relationship my entire life and had to end it because all i felt was apathy and found out it wasn’t really worth my time. friendships are the same — i barely have any, yet i barely communicate with the ones i have. i seem to enjoy my own presence rather than anyone else’s.

everyone around me seems to be moving forward: getting married, getting jobs, and just feeling excited about life in general. i honestly wonder what that feels like as i get no pleasure from doing anything at all besides my solitary activities. it just made me wonder if this is how life is always going to be for me.

what are your thoughts?