just need to know I’ll be okay, I’m freaking out

I’m a 25-year-old female, and for the past 6 months I’ve been dealing with intense anxiety and panic episodes. I’ve had about 3 full panic attacks so far — the most recent one happened just two days ago, around 4 AM. I woke up from what felt like sleep paralysis, and it spiraled into days of extreme health anxiety afterward.

My legs and hands were shaking, and I made the mistake of googling symptoms (I know I shouldn’t), came across ALS, and convinced myself I was going to end up paralyzed. That thought sent me into a complete panic spiral. When I got up from bed, my legs felt shaky, my heart was racing, I felt dizzy, and there was this overwhelming sense of doom like this is it, I’m dying. It felt like a heart attack. I live alone and had no one to call, just my cat with me, and I’ve never felt that scared before.

Deep down I know it’s anxiety, and even my psychiatrist has told me not to google or search symptoms, but I keep falling into it. One day I think it’s cancer, another day stroke, ALS, etc. Most of the time it turns out to be nothing serious, just anxiety flaring up… but it feels so real in the moment.

This whole thing has been affecting my life in a big way. I skipped classes this semester because I couldn’t bring myself to attend. Crowds scare me, public transport scares me, I barely went out with friends. I feel like I’m stuck in my room and stuck in my own mind. The worst part is not being able to explain it to people — they don’t understand, and it’s not their fault, but it’s so isolating.

I just want to know… does it get better? Has anyone else gone through something like this and come out the other side? I’m exhausted. I want my life, my career, and my confidence back. I don’t want to live in fear anymore.

Any advice, reassurance, or shared experiences would mean a lot. Thank you for reading.