Very Confused

I’m confused on what to think/believe. I go to a non-denominational church in middle Tennessee and I love it I believe what they preach and honestly they helped me find Christ to get/stay sober and love everything about the church but I have conflicting sexual views or kinks/fantasies whatever you wanna call them.

There are things I’d love to do with my wife like adding a third, masturbating together, and say exploring same sex third with my partner also involved, “showing off” online and public acts as well BUT after reading hebrews 13:4, exodus 20:14 Matthew 5:27-28, Romans 1:26-27, Thessalonians 4:3–5, just to name a few of so many examples of why these are wrong….are they that wrong and why do i feel ashamed?

Any guidance or help would be much appreciated as we’re trying to be the best type of people we can be and live a spirit filled life as much as possible.

Thank you!