My life is on pause and everything feels pointless

35 male here.

Me and my GF are in the middle of IVF-treatment. Everthing looks fine so they doctors just keep telling us do continue.

But thing is my life is on pause cuz if this. we dont wanna invest a lot money in this house if dont get kids for example. My jobb feels pointless, salary is good but its killing me inside.

i often think like i would maybe go back to school but then i think why?

Im always tired and when invited to friends i allways sneak home early.

im not feeling happy att all. I just wanna be alone.

I train some fotboll 2 times a week. But i have to push me so hard to even go..

Ive got like 2 "friendsgroup" they who has kids and they who only partyhard on weekends. I dont fit with nobody.

I just play happy all the time for my family and friends. No one knows how i really feel.
Im not so good of writing english sorry.

Eny got some tips?