Hyper-sexuality has plagued my adulthood.

I’m over a decade removed from being serially groomed by an older woman, something my friends were jealous of when I was a teenage boy. Even more so, by my baby sitter in late elementary. The psychological effect of being groomed and SAd by women so much older than me has all but ruined my perception of sex and relationships even now. I don’t know how to stop desiring an age gap, how to stop wanting more and more control over my partner as a way to compensate. It’s like because of what happened I just have this pathetic desire to own somebody to get back like it’ll help. I have nobody around me to even talk about it with and it’s ruining my adulthood.