I miss my dog

I miss my dog. He died over 10 months ago and I feel like I should be way beyond this by now, but lately I feel like I am drowning again. Ever since my cat died 3 years ago I feel like grief has become a normal part of my life. It just became an aspect of who I am, and that was okay. I am an amalgamation of many things, and one of those things was that I missed my cat. But the dog? I feel like I’ve got cinderblocks in my chest again. I look at pictures and videos of him and wonder how it’s been so long since I’ve seen him, yet it feels like he’s still here. He’s literally right there, like I could reach into my phone and touch him. But I can’t.

My heart aches for a curly tail I’ll never get to see again, a belly I’ll never get to rub again, and a dog I’ll never get to hold again.

The loss of my dog in February and my cat 3 years ago has altered my brain chemistry and all I can think about is them.