I feel like a shell of my former self

I feel so stupid and naive, I accepted a job at a coffee shop but I think the guy is giving me the run around and they don’t have space for me because they don’t have any shifts.

But how did I get here because I once had a promising career in Michelin restaurants and then property account management. From the outside I look like someone who’s just thrown it all away for no reason, for example when I was doing account management I had really good benafits and okay work life balance and my clients loved me BUT the stress and pressure was unbearable it caused me to get shingles last year and I begged for support but it didn’t come so I had to quit. Two month notice later and I got a job in contract catering AKA where hospitality professionals go to die. I lasted a month before I went to the doctor and they signed me off for two weeks with stress. I couldn’t go back so I resigned again and in the two weeks set out applying for hundreds of jobs to no avail until I got up and gave my CV out to local businesses.

This is when I immediately clicked with the manager of a coffee shop who was super keen to bring me on and join the team. Only now, they haven’t offered the pay, they haven’t given any hours and I am left with no work or money before Christmas.

Of course when they have just cancelled my shift I am crying on a Sunday night alone feeling so stupid and naive. I live far away from my hometown and family so it’s not like they can help me. I have wasted so much time now and no one is hiring this close to Christmas, I feel so stupid and alone.

I know I will pick myself back up tomorrow and go out to apply for 100 more jobs but right now I need someone to know that it was 7 years of working in extremely stressful environments that has built up a level of stress I have never felt before.