Anyone else remember Dr. Dobson?

What are your stories of growing up in a strict Christian home?

Also, does anyone else remember their parents listening to Focus of the Family or any of Dr. Dobson's other work when they were children? It turns out that the methods within 'religious authoritarian parenting' he promoted--while being technically legal because of protected religious speech-- are actually recognized as legally abusive; I.e. punishment that is unnecessary & to invoke fear, like encouraging spanking before it is needed and to break a child's will and the use of objects: "Some strong-willed children absolutely demand to be spanked, and their wishes should be granted… two or three stinging strokes on the legs or buttocks with a switch are usually sufficient to emphasize the point, ‘You must obey me.’” (The Strong-Willed Child, pp. 53–54)."

Sometimes it takes a while for adults to realize they were actually abused by their Christian parents. It's a deeply uncomfortable realization. For me, it explains the 20 years of persistent depression, suicidal ideation, constant anxiety, and poor self-esteem that followed me into adulthood. I only wish I had been able to get help sooner -- like when I was a kid, when I wanted it, before it escalated into suicidality and cutting myself, which finally got some attention 5 years after the depression set in. Of course, my parents still wouldn't let me a therapist -- only a pastor or religious counselor -- so I declined.

I remember my mother listening to Dobson's program on the car radio, Focus on the Family, in the 90s when I was growing up. She yelled at me constantly, but never took the time to explain why something was wrong, merely screaming that I did something wrong. I always wanted that explanation. I never did anything out of the ordinary for a child, but I was always 'spanked' and screamed at regardless. Interesting how Christian households conflate the term 'spank' with any physical punishment. For us, getting 'spanked' meant getting beating on the bare behind with a kitchen ladle. Getting ignored was actively better than being the target of my mother's anger. Never once did she see or treat me as an autonomous, feeling person or try to get to know me as an individual. To this day, she still refuses to hear a critical word about Dobson, especially one based in science.

Think other Christians were much better? I went to an ACE school then a Lutheran school for 6 years total. I showed all the signs of having difficulties and mental health issues -- social withdrawal, depression, anxiety, difficulties with classwork despite high IQ (if they even noticed), stomach issues, poor attendance, etc. The ignored me and treated me like a problem child. Ironic how much of "Christian kindness" lacks the love, compassion, and service-to-others orientation that is the hallmark of Yeshua's (Jesus) teachings. To be blunt: the paradox is that many Christians don't actually follow Christ. You can't follow Jesus in name only (Matt 7). It's deeply ironic.

It's time to come out of the shadows. What's your story?