Does it ever get better ?

Hi I've been struggling for a while with accepting the parts of me that are differents.

Im a 24 years old woman, and Ive been diagnosed with Adhd almost 2 years ago, Ive never been diagnosed with autism but I have always had reasons to believe I was on the spectrum. The thing is, recently a woman that I really like joked about something by text and I took it seriously, it happened many times now and everytime I feel so much sadness and shame.

Why couldn't I understand what she meant ? Why did I have to look so dumb ? I tend to ask myself theses questions.

I have done my best to mask my whole life, to analyse everything, to observe peoples reactions, choices of topic, small talk everything. And I thought I had gotten better at picking cues but somehow there always comes a time where I don't get it. A time where I receive something and I don't understand the joke.

I hate this feeling the most. Feeling like Im the stupidest person ever.

I wonder if I start accepting how neurospicy I am will it get better ? Will I feel less shame ? Less dumb ?

Because I know deep down that I am a smart individual. But my self esteem gets real low in times like theses.

So I guess I just wanted to rent and see if someone that relates could tell me if it gets better at some point ?