Its a bit too much

I am too tiered for anything. Been married for 7 years. I had a horrible childhood. Got PTSD. Barely survived. When got married I thought I found the life that I deserve but boy was I wrong. He is a great guy. He love me into bits. And everyone is jealous of how he treats me and how loving and caring he is. Be the truth is 3 months into the marriage I found him flirting with other girls and this is going on for the whole 7 years. He never made me feel ugly. But I compare the girls he flirts with and I think I am a useless ugly potato. I haven't slept in day, my anti depressants are no working. I constantly want to end everything. I want peace. I just want everything over with. I have no family or friends. No one knows him very well. I am alone. I haven't even told my doctor about the REAL him. I always sugar coat him. I can't do this anymore.