M22 need advice on what to do about long distance ex F21 physical and mental wellbeing?
So me and my long distance gf of 3 years broke up last week because she said that the long distance wasn’t working and that she felt like because the spark to fade and she felt like we were more friends. She said that she still loved and cared for me and that she need space but that she still wanted to be friends because she didn’t want to lose me from her life because i was still her best friend and that maybe when we’re both in a better place and if the time is right we could try again. She also said that she felt bad because she felt like i was planning my future around her instead of myself. After that i sent her a long apology text which she left in read but a mutual said that she told them it was because she didn’t know how to respond witch i get. anyway the past few months she’s been hanging out with her roommates more often and going out and drinking a lot (ik she wasn’t cheating because my same friend was out with her). she would go out 3-2 nights a week and often drink at home on school nights. last year we would drink a lot but it was mostly just one or 2 beers a few nights a week. She had told me a few weeks ago how she was worried she was an alcoholic and drinking to much and didn’t know how to stop. i tired to help her and tell her to try going out less. she said she was gonna stop drinking on week days. The next week she went out twice and when i brought it up she said she was fine because she was only worried because she was drinking on weekdays and she stopped. well during this same time we stopped talking as much and texting and when ever i called she was always hanging out with her roommates. her roommate however are very toxic people who she would often complain about and how they were mean or annoying. for some context we have been dating since her freshman year. before we officially started dating she was drinking a lot and smoking cigs and this even lead to some hart problems and her having to get a hart monitor for some time. i found out yesterday that she is still drinking almost every night and is often smoking cigs when drunk. prior to this she had said that even the smell of cigs would make her nauseous. she is on a medication that makes her a light weight and i’m worried that being all alone and with her toxic roommates is causing her to revert to these habits and get addicted. she has told me many times about how addiction runs in her family and she use to be addicted to a medication when she was younger. i’m so scared that she’s gonna get hurt or end up getting taken advantage of. i feel like her friends would be the type to try to convince her to go home with a guy when she’s way to drunk or leave her out alone. ik she’s not looking for any because my one friend said she said she’s not gonna date for at least five years and that any time they tried to push a guy on to her she would just have them buy her a drink do a wired dance and tell them their to close and making her uncomfortable. my friend said they were also worried about her drinking and gonna talk to her. but i know she won’t listen as she’s very stubborn. she barely eats anything and i would have to force her to eat most days. they said that she’s still barley eating anything. they also said that she’s been kinda out of it and been more mean and toxic and how her friends are brain dead and act like she’s the type of person who act different when around different people so i’m worried the she’s picking up bad habits because of them. she also suffers from a lot of mental illness and tram and i’m worried this is only gonna make things worse. my friend says it’s not my place to worry about her but i’m scared she’s gonna get really hurt or worse and i don’t know what to do. would it be wrong to try to reach out to her. of it we were becoming more like friends and the spark was gone.
Posted Dec 7, 2025, 10:51 PM UTC · edited