Baby Shower Drama - AITA?

Currently 21 weeks and can’t tell if I am being unreasonable/dramatic.

For context, I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with what will be my first baby after three years of infertility, four rounds of IVF, countless money spent on specialist, and one absolutely devastating miscarriage.

I’m due in the spring with a baby girl and my entire family is so excited. My mom is planning to throw us a baby shower. I should mention that my mom and I are very, very close, but we are not similar. We have different interests. We have different taste. We are all in all just different people. She’s a lot more posh than I am, always dressed to the nines, and overall just fancy. I am much more casual, I never dress up, and my lifestyle is just a little bit more low key.

She wanted to have the shower at the local country club. A little fancy for me, but it’s local for most of my family, they have good food, and they throw a nice shower- so fine by me. Mind you, my MIL wanted to do it somewhere else but I agreed with my mom’s choice. The only thing that I asked was that it wasn’t a heavily pink themed party. My husband and I are thinking of naming our daughter something relatively gender neutral and I’m just not a pink person. When I told her this, she agreed.

Regardless of that conversation, she decided to pick out invitations that were giant pink bows. When I told her that I didn’t like the invitation she said she didn’t care and that she loved it and she was going to go with that one. I let it go at first, but then today she needed me to help her import the addresses into the website to order the invitations. I drove down there with my mother-in-law so we could have brunch together and do the addresses. While doing this, I reiterated that I didn’t like the invitation, that it didn’t feel like me, and if we could find one that we both liked. She then called me a spoiled brat, started yelling at me me in front of my mother-in-law, and made me cry. She kept saying how nothing is ever easy with me and every time she does something that she wants I always have to make it difficult. In this, she’s referring to timing for when my husband and I can make it to holiday parties, the fact that my husband planned me a birthday party that she didn’t like, etc.

In my mind, here I am 21 weeks pregnant, with what feels like a miracle child, and my mom is throwing a shower for herself. It feels really stupid to me that I care about the invitation, which is why I’m not sure if I’m the one being unreasonable. But then on the other side of it, I feel like I need to show up like a prop to her dream shower.

I tried to call her to talk about it, but she won’t answer the phone. Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let her have it her way? I feel like it turned into this huge fight that I don’t know how to turn back from.