Fake Support From Muslim Parents

I grew up with very strict Muslim parents, and I am a girl so you know how that goes. Forced to wear hijab and not allowed to go out or have friends. I always see TikToks of Muslims talking about how they're going to raise their kids and be super controlling, and raise them in a Muslim country (as if being in a Muslim country guarantees anything), and they actually believe they're going to be good parents. You can't be controlling and a good parent. These are the same Muslim parents that insist you can talk to them about your problems. Which you can, as long as it's not about boys, or questioning Islam!

My parents are like this and it's so annoying. Last year a girl in our area was killed in the woods, supposedly suicide, but still kind of unclear what happened to her. So they told my sister and I if we're ever depressed or feeling upset we can talk to our parents. This isn't the first time they've told us, they always tell us we can talk to them. And it pisses me off because we can't. My dad was always aggressive and controlling in attempts to keep us as good Muslim girls, my mom always enabled it.

When I was 12, I told them I don't like wearing hijab and I want to take it off. They did not listen to me, they told me it's Shaytan and forced me to keep wearing it. I got in trouble whenever I'd try to take it off. I am 20 years old and even now I can't tell them that I want to take it off because I'd get in so much trouble. If my parents knew I took it off in high school, they would've pulled me out of school. I know that I could never truly talk to them about anything without severe consequences and them getting very angry at me.

They are not even people you can talk to, I try to talk to them about being more reasonable about me going out and stuff, and they also shut that down believing they are 100% right and need to lock me up in the house. I cannot wait to shock them and run away from them one day. Only then they will learn that they are not reasonable people I can talk to about problems. If they were nice supportive muslim parents who actually let me talk about these things, while they give me the sugarcoated answer to everything about Islam, I'd probably still be Muslim right now instead of looking to outside sources and ending up leaving islam. It's so ironic that their controlling attempts to keep me Muslim is what did that exact opposite.