Feelings for a girl at my company
Hello Reddit. I wanted to seek some advice here, and I would appreciate some pointers.
I (27M) work in a corporate job, and have been at the same company for nearly 5 years. I promised myself when I started my career that I would never catch feelings for a girl at work, and I genuinely never did until recently.
We have a rotational program, and people get to go through different departments to try them out.
A few months ago, a girl started in my department temporarily. We had interacted and knew each other previously, but for this time period we got to know each other a lot more. I’ll start off by saying there felt like there was an instant mutual warmth there. She seemed to be in tune with things I would say even if she wasn’t in the conversation, and would initiate a lot of non work related conversations (both in person and via Teams messaging). She often teased me and I would return it, but also we seemed to connect really well too.
She never shyed away from complimenting me, as she has called me a gentleman, sweet, funny, and has complimented my outfits / indirectly called me handsome. It feels like our connection was right on that thin line between friendly and flirty.
The more I got to know her throughout her time in my group, the more I realized I liked her and genuinely enjoyed her presence.
I knew I couldn’t suppress it, but I also knew I couldn’t act on it (I genuinely didn’t want to put her in an uncomfortable or weird spot). To be honest, I’ve never liked a co-worked before hence why I’m so conflicted.
I think she’s caught on to how I felt, as there certainly seemed to be an energy and tension between us (although it’s never escalated and it feels like this unspoken thing).
I know she’s single, but I also know she’s playing the dating pool and seeing people here and there. Thankfully she’s not in my department anymore and I don’t see her as often, but last week she invited me to join a running event outside of work in about 1 month (alongside some other people in my group who are doing the run) and she encouraged me to race her.
I’ve tried dating other people to get over it but it hasn’t really been working out. Outside of a work context, I would of course have been more direct and forward about my intentions.
Because I know her through work though, it complicates things (big company but word travels fast and I have a respected reputation so I fear asking her out would be a recipe for disaster).
Not sure how to proceed and “just letting go” feels easier said than done. Could use some genuine advice here!
PS: Some examples of our banter include her asking me what my type was and playfully offering me up to her friends (before we got to know each other), asking me what song reminded me of her, always being very complimentary and warm towards me (visibly more so than others), etc. She reached out for our 1:1 message conversations more often than I did most of the time.
I also understand these could all be more friendly signs rather than flirty but I hate this feeling of the unknown. I am pretty grounded and realistic and I’m trying to be respectful of her boundaries, so I haven’t been trying to overdo it with messages or attention (especially as she’s getting used to her new department). FYI, I don’t have her number or her social media.
I feel like I have my hands tied behind my back because of the work context…so any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Posted Dec 7, 2025, 10:56 PM UTC