How do I politely shut down advice from my MIL???

My baby boy is two months old now and my MIL is ACTIVELY bombarding me with unsolicited advice. I used to call her a bit of a hippie, but judging by her recent texts I think she’s way beyond that description.

When we were struggling with infertility she would text me advice like ‘You should see this acupuncturist an hour away from where you live’, and send links to herbs and teas I should try. She even sent me a rod like crystal that was supposed to help with infertility (I have no idea what she wanted me to do with it though 😳). We only got pregnant thanks to IVF. Our doctor said we had less than a 1% chance of conceiving naturally so I don’t think her tea would have helped.

Now that baby boy is here she’s started with the baby advice. She texted asking how he’s doing. He was just diagnosed with a probable dairy allergy so I’ve cut out dairy from my diet. She said he probably wasn’t feeling well because I wasn’t taking probiotics. I’ve been on probiotics for at least 2 years 😒. She sent me a link to a vegan cheese manufacturer. I don’t want vegan cheese. I want real cheese. And most of their cheese is made with soy, which I should also avoid. She just sent me his astrological chart and told me I should go outside barefoot and hold him skin to skin for ‘earthing’ to settle his fussiness. I DIDN’T EVEN SAY HE WAS FUSSY. He stayed awake all night with his dad (totally normal for him now. He NEVER sleeps in the bassinet when his dad takes over, he just wants to hang out with his dad.) while I took a night off and he’s exhausted today and is actually a dream. I literally told her he’s a dream baby.

Whenever she’s here she plays New Age music for him and then makes photo montages of his pictures with the same music in the background. I’m pretty middle ground on my taste in music but I’m ready to raise this boy as a metal head if it drives her crazy. She also wants me to diffuse essential oils for him. I don’t diffuse any oils because so many are dangerous for dogs.

I’m just waiting for her to recommend a holistic pediatrician and try to align his behavior with the moon cycle. Any advice for how to shut this down? Bonus points for ideas how to annoy the crap out of her.