Scared I'm a bad person and need a second opinion
Okay so basically when I was like 12 or 13 I watched a YouTube video by a YouTuber talking about how she had had online boyfriends and for some reason in my stupid child brain I was like "OMG that could be me!!!"
So I impulsively made a Twitter account, lied about my age and even deliberately changed the age to be closer to the YouTuber's age (the main source of guilt now), then responded to like one meme tweet she made saying it was funny and then promptly forgot about the whole thing. I think I also thought about it at the time and was like "Wait this is a dumb idea what if she wanted to meet up or something??? Would I need an adult to pretend to be me????".
But now I'm 17 and I've just remembered I did this and I feel horrible. It stresses me out so bad that I like, didn't even make the connection that what I was doing was bad???? My main comfort is that I didn't actually end up even flirting with this person, literally just replied to one tweet and forgot about it, so maybe I would've come to my senses if something actually happened. I know that happened a few times as a kid where I'd get a crazy idea and then when about to execute it I'd get hit by guilt and panic and realise what I was doing was wrong.
But I just feel so guilty and it's stressing me out so bad. Like that was so parasocial!! And creepy! Is this just a normal kid thing to do or am I a bad person? It's gotten so bad I've considered suicide cause if I'm a bad person then I don't deserve to live or be happy. I really don't know what to do.
Posted Dec 7, 2025, 11:00 PM UTC