Excruciatingly lonely

Not really a question, more of a rant, or a bit of both I guess. I was diagnosed when I was 19 (I’m 25 now). Series of ended friendships during those years. Series of horrific + abusive relationships.

I got heartbroken for the last time at the start of feb (I got no answers or closure + it sent my life into a spiral). I have no friends. The only person I talk to is my mom, and that’s not even an exaggeration, I don’t even have anyone to small talk with.

Ive spent the entire year doing the same things at the same time every day. I leave my house maybe twice a week for an hour to food shop.

I’m literally rotting my life away, I don’t have a single thing to show for how I’ve spent my year. I don’t know how to turn my life around, I don’t know how to get better. The loneliness is killing me. The lack of life is killing me.