My (22F) ex (22M) did bad things to me and my ex best friend (22F) defended him

Can you please give me honest opinions?

Here’s the timeline: me and my now ex meet, we hit it off but I discuss right off the bat how I want to save sex until I’m married, he thinks that’s ridiculous and says we’ll have sex “some time”, things are good but we run into conflict with this a lot (him trying to make moves, me saying no, him getting sad and sulky and saying he’s gonna go home, and I would try to fix things so we didn’t leave on bad terms), we continue to have tear filled conversations and arguments about this. He thinks I don’t find him attractive but I reassure it’s because of my belief, but I feel bad he thinks that. Things get so bad and so tense that I second guess if it’s worth it to stick to my ideals if it’s going to hurt him so much. Hesitantly I give in. Afterward I feel terrible. I try to stop it but now that more has happened he’s even more hurt when I say no. Saying no gets more and more exhausting due to the sulking and arguments, for a period of maybe 5 months I bite my tongue and try to have a normal sexual relationship, all the while being torn up inside. I wanted to put an end to the sex but it would be such a big conflict every time. I thought if we could get past this everything could be fine. I eventually have enough, because this whole situation had isolated me from friends and caused so much conflict. Our relationship becomes tense like the beginning again. He sulks for entire days on end, incapable of doing regular fun things. It’s okay he has emotions but it felt like they were being weaponized. I gave in several other times because things got so intensely tense and I couldn’t take it anymore. Everything was always so easy when I gave in, and the stress was impeding my functioning in life. I say we have to take a break and then eventually we break up because things are too bad. But before then I confide in my friends how I’ve been feeling, they’re horrified because I’m telling them about my feelings of being coerced. But I think they don’t recognize that as a possibility and thought he was forcing me to do things which was not my intention.

Somewhere in that time my now ex called my best friend and gave her his side of the story. He talks about how I was being confusing (I stood up for my beliefs and got knocked down every time, which causes a lot of flip flopping), I only did things when I wanted to (two party consent) and once again my beliefs were dismissed and called unrealistic by my best friend. She also said she thinks I don’t actually believe sex before marriage is a sin and thinks it’s because of my past trauma which felt reductive and insulting and felt like someone gaslighting me telling me “you don’t really think that”. It broke my heart to hear my friend telling me the same things my ex was saying to me for the 10 months of our relationship.

My friend was angry that I wasn’t respecting my boyfriend’s emotions. I really do! I have cared for his emotions a lot when he’s confided in me and that wasn’t a problem. This sulking after not getting sex felt childish. My friend was also very angry I talked to my mom and my priest about this situation. First of all I never discussed graphic details, only my feelings (meanwhile my friend used graphic language in talking about me which is frustrating because that means my ex told her that) and also my ex talked to HIS mom and HIS priest and HIS therapist too! And yet she says he has “no one to talk to” and “no one respects men’s emotions”. My ex was also upset because I’d confided in him that I had a traumatic and dark sexual history, which included two people, my friend said that in telling him that and not having sex with him I was “treating him like a cuck”. My friends think I was being dishonest about him manipulating me into sex and my best friend said that it was in my head the entire time. I don’t see how I could be making something up consistently for 10 months and not be aware. This has me seriously doubting my reality.