i feel so unloved

My mother is emotionally absent and my father was physically absent as well. I have stopped wanting my mother’s love but my father

He hates me for some reason. Is always so harsh on me. I’m on my period, i want to sleep in the morning but i have to wake up and 5 and sweep the whole house. I am tired of feeling this unloved.

He acts like me getting my period is me finding excuses not to work. I am so tired. Facing this everyday makes me suicidal. The general passive aggressiveness i have to face is sickening. I don’t understand why he hates me so much. It’s not just him forcing me to do things, i see hatred in his eyes.

I see other fathers with their little girls and i wonder what i did to deserve this. I am so tired. I don’t want to wake up everyday wishing that i didn’t. i have been almost actively suicidal nowadays. but i don’t even have a fullproof plan. I fear committing and failing and having to wake up in this house again.

Is this normal? for parents to get mad at you for having your period and making you feel excluded and forcing you to do chores during it? Idc even if it is normal. It’s so tiring.