AITA— Miami Bday Trip Ruined 10 Years Of Friendship!

Am I the asshole? I’m 30 years old, and my best friend—who’s 29—has been in my life for almost a decade. Every year, when her birthday rolls around, my anxiety kicks in because like clockwork, something small will go wrong, she’ll catch an attitude, and I’ll spend the entire celebration babying and comforting her. Last year she lost a nose ring in a resort pool and wanted to cancel the whole trip, while ON the trip. The year before, her nail tech canceled due to a car accident and she almost shut down her birthday over that. Mind you, I was already half way through a 6 hour drive to meet her for her birthday. Each time, I’ve stepped in to fix it: tried to give her my own nose ring out of my nose, finding her a backup nail tech, driving hours to make sure she still had a good day. This year, she said she wanted to go to Arizona. I started planning, but we quickly realized it wasn’t in either of our budgets—especially mine, since I had just moved from out of state so we could live together, and my car had broken down twice, leaving me roughly $3,000 in debt. Still wanting to make her birthday special, I planned several full itineraries for affordable trips—New York, D.C., Chicago—complete with prices, activities, everything. She shot down each one. Eventually, she suggested Miami since we could drive and skip flight costs. I agreed even though my financial and emotional bandwidth was thin, because she’s my best friend. The drama started before we even left. After getting her hair done, she asked me to take pictures of her at the house, but she didn’t like the lighting. Her attitude shifted immediately. I reassured her that once we got to Miami, I’d take pictures at the Airbnb. She calmed down, and we made the drive… well, I drove because she refuses to drive on the highway. When we finally arrived around 10 p.m., she immediately wanted pictures. I spent over two hours rearranging furniture, fixing lighting, and contorting myself into angles just to get the perfect shots. She hated every single one. She went silent, washed her face, put on pajamas, and went straight to bed. I was exhausted too, but we already planned not to go out that night, because we never go out on travel days. So I told her I was going to see my boyfriend—who lives in Miami—for a few hours.( Note that my boyfriend and I are long distance, I would NEVER come to his city/state and not see him, I told her I wanted to say hi for a little bit because I know we will be busy all weekend and I won’t be spending actual time with him) She said “okay.” I left, came back later, and everything seemed fine. The next morning, on her actual birthday, I tried to start the day positively. I asked what she wanted to do. She said she didn’t know. The spa she originally wanted was booked, I had assumed she already booked the spa since we previously discussed going but she had not, so I found another one, booked it, and took her. She enjoyed it, but as soon as it was over, the attitude returned. I suggested Ulta, food, and the beach. We did Ulta and food, but she suddenly said it was “too late” for the beach and we needed to get ready for dinner—so we went back to the Airbnb. She took three hours getting ready while I napped. When she was done, I spent another hour and a half taking her pictures. Again, she hated them. Again, the attitude came. She didn’t speak to me the whole ride to dinner, didn’t speak not one word to me or our other friend at dinner, and didn’t speak afterward on the ride home. We were supposed to go to the club after dinner, but she walked into the Airbnb, wiped off her makeup, put on pajamas, and went to bed without a word. Normally, every year, I would’ve asked what was wrong, begged her to go out, tried to fix the mood—but I told myself I wasn’t doing that anymore. I’m 30. She’s 29. This cycle is exhausting, and I couldn’t keep enabling it. The next day was even worse. She barely spoke to me. I texted our friend to see if she could get through to her, because the energy was so awkward. Eventually we went to a strip club, but she barely interacted with us, instead she was texting her guy the whole time. After hours at the strip club, my phone was dying so I asked to go to the car to charge it and come back. She said we could just leave, so we did. In the car, when I asked what she wanted to do next, she told us to figure something out because she wasn’t from Miami—completely ignoring the fact that we aren’t either. Everything we suggested, she declined. MINE YOU IT WAS ONLY 7pm! We go back to the Airbnb, she showered and said nothing. Miami is a city that never sleeps, so I told her I was going to see my boyfriend again for a little bit and she should text me if she changed her mind about going out. Reason being , I spent money I didn’t really have in the first place to come here I’m not about to sulk in the Airbnb with you because your waiting on me to beg you to not have an attitude and to have a good time. So now she said we weren’t going out. I asked again just to be sure—she ignored me until I said “hello??” Then she said “yeah okay.” Forty-five minutes after I left, I got a long, emotional text blaming me for everything. She said I ruined her birthday, abandoned her, didn’t plan anything, chose my boyfriend over her, and left her “with nothing to drink” in the Airbnb—which was a high rise apartment literally above a 7-Eleven. She rewrote the entire weekend like I hadn’t been trying nonstop while she shut down the entire time. One week later, we talked face-to-face, and she dropped a completely different reason for being upset: She said it was never about the pictures. It was about my boyfriend. and how I was “on the phone with him the whole trip” (mind you the only time we were on the phone was when she wasn’t talking to me or was ignoring me… to stop myself from begging her and coddling her I would call him, & one time she asked me to call him for guy advice.) She also said that she doesn’t want to “be friends like that anymore.” But then she added, “You can still send me funny TikToks and Instagram videos though.” Like she downgraded me from best friend to casual internet mutual. This isn’t new—years ago, in our early 20s, she stopped talking to me for a week because I started dating someone. She’s always acts uncomfortable if I get close to anyone else. Even before the trip, if I got off the phone because someone else was calling, she’d get an attitude. If I mentioned my boyfriend, she’d go silent or brush it off. Now it’s December, this happen in September. We live together. We’re still not speaking. Just tension. So… am I the asshole? For not chasing after her this year? For being drained? For not catering to every mood swing? For having a boyfriend? For finally setting a boundary after years of coddling her? I genuinely don’t know.Am I the asshole?