One day, Grimm was dicking around in the Library when - suddenly - his stomach began to rumble. Now, Grimm had probably tried just about all the food in Wonderland, and it was tiring quenching one’s hunger on the same gruel over and over again. He wanted something new. Certainly, some chicken would be nice…



Unfortunately, Grimm had eaten Chickeroast last weekend, so that picture was out of the question. Thus, Grimm began to think of other avians to consume.



Jubjub would be too much of a hassle for just some hunger-pains, so that was a no-go.



Grimm was also on a diet, so dumbshit Dodo couldn’t do either. 



Griffy would’ve been a choice, but Grimm didn’t think about her (be patient with him).



The less said about Goose, the better.



The Chick…



The Chick!



Perfect serving size…probably wouldn’t sit too much in his stomach…perfect.



So Grimm got to stepping. He fasttravelled to the Caroll River, where - to his luck the Chick happened to be fluttering about in her nest. He walked towards her, already feeling the saliva begin to build in his mouth.



Hearing the rustle of the grass caused by his approaching footsteps, the Chick turned her head, bug-eyed and mouth agape. She stammered, “Uh- G-grimm! What-”



Grimm cut her off, “Sorry, man; there’s a rumble-y in my tum-bley.” He then grabbed the Chick by her little legs and swung her around like a sac of potatoes. He slammed her face against the nearest wall, as one would do. The impact left a red splotch on the wall - the boogeyman of any art student’s trade - that trailed off into the snow-covered ground below. Grimm let the Chick’s body flop to the ground like a wet, depressing bag. Her face contorted into a mess I’m not even gonna bother describing because that would reauire too much effort and investment for this dogshit story I've conjured.



Anyways, Grimm proceeded to stoke a fire in what used to be the nest the Chick had inhabited. He got out a tripod holding a pot that he had brung in preparation. He placed the pot over the fire and dumped some water from his canteen over it. As he waited for the water to boil, he got out his iPhone and began playing songs from his personally-made Christmas playlist.



When the water was finally bubbling, he threw the Chick’s body into the water and sat. He watched with satisfaction as the Chick’s slowly paleling skin began to burn and turn golden brown. He smelt the smelly smell; it smelt smelly. He was reminded of that one scene in Family Guy where they all turned into Disney characters and Peter sang about pie; no doubt, the scent tickled him as much as it did Peter.



Eventually, the Chick was fully cooked. “I always hate this part,” Grimm muttered. He then stuck his hand in the boiling water to retrieve the now surely dead and surely tasty Chick, feeling the surge of searing pain enveloped his hand. He groaned, but nonetheless successfully pulled the Chick out. His stomach was now growling louder than Poro; he simply had to eat it. Grimm hastily took off his helmet and took a large bite into the torso of the Chick. It seized his mouth, the heat burning every last inch of it, but Grimm didn’t care. If anything, he enjoyed the struggle a little. He felt the bones crunch in his teeth as he brought hos chompers down upon them. He swallowe, feeling immense pain as the shards mixed with the meat scraped his intestines.



Maybe this was not the best idea.



At this point, an insufferable, echoing laugh sounded off from the distance. Jubjub had come.



She began, “How my little baby doi-” only to pause. Grimm turned around wide-eyed, meat still in his mouth. Jubjub squinted her eyes, perplexed, only for a newfound horror to seize her when she noticed that her beloved baby was figuratively and literally cooked. She cried in anguish, before cullingmout a .50 cal and doing her best Jimmy Neutron impression by blasting her brains against the fucking wall. Grimm simply stared, shrugged, and walked away.



The End



(u/BlackwellHayes did not feel comfortable writing this story, so I decided to do it for him. I wrote this pissed as hell. Happy holidays)



GRIMM COOKS CHICKEN (inspired by u/BlackwellHayes)