Struggling to write obituaries

Both my parents died this year. Dad in April from cancer and my mom in October from Alzheimer’s. It was a chaotic whirlwind of both of them being hospitalized simultaneously, having to move mom to long term care, pack up their house… despite both of them having terminal illness… they were extremely private, lived in denial, and they did not plan or prepare for anything. Neither of them had any wishes for funeral services, except dad said he wanted a party. So I threw him a party in September once we could catch a breath. It went perfectly… but a month later my mom died.

Now we’re coming up to the holidays and we haven’t made any public announcement. Of course close family and friends are aware… but feels like we haven’t scratched the surface of mourning, because it’s just crisis after crisis for the last 10 months. I think it is time to put out obits… but every time I try and write something out it’s like my mind is blank. I want them written, and out there, I want to see what ppl say about them, hear new stories, I want my peers to know what I’ve been going through, I want them to donate to cancer and Alzheimer research.. but I can’t get the damn words out! I feel like a shitty daughter being held up on this. I have brothers but everyone is so burnt out from the year. We don’t have any support really from my parents’ siblings… but I might see if they can at least help us write the obits?

What’s your feeling on obituaries and who wrote them for your loved ones?