Vent: Teen son with ZERO motivation

Mom to a super smart 16 year old son. Like high IQ, typically a straight A student. He’s here in the living room with me, half-heartedly studying for the ACTs while glaring at me. ACT tests are next weekend.

Things he doesn’t care about and puts no time into : The ACTs (or SATs), Learning to drive, Homework or studying for school tests, Working out, Getting a job, Chores, Keeping his room clean, His future, Any career interests

Things he cares about: His phone/social media scrolling, His friends

Ask him about his future and he says he doesn’t care, isn’t going to college, wants to join the military. Does he have any passion for the military? Nope. Just wants to avoid college and more studying. Was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last year, but haven’t found right medication so …yeah.

Don’t suggest therapy- he went a few times and refused to continue. He’s so smart but lacks any motivation. He could have a high test score if he would put in the time, but he “doesn’t care”. His grades were straight As last few years but school is getting hard and he needs to actually prep for tests now to perform well, he refuses to put in the time. If we threaten to take his phone away he will just nap instead. Nothing we say gets through. Everything is “too much work”.

I don’t know what his future holds and I genuinely feel bad if his ADHD/brain chemistry is to blame. I just don’t know how to support someone who has set such a low bar for themselves and doesn’t care what happens to them.