There is no hate like Christian love

I am a Christian and have been my whole life. I just went through something traumatic following God and I know He is good and he has a plan to eventually get me out of this. I know the Bible and the theology and that’s not what I’m here for nor am I here to argue with anyone about God’s character. However, what I went through definitely changed my view of things and ultimately I lost my church home in the process. It’s been 6 months, I took time a way to heal but God told me that my self protection and isolation was becoming idolatry and a hindrance in our relationship to which, frankly He was not wrong. I want to get back the relationship I had with Him but I am disillusioned and I can’t fully relax in Him. I have sought out MULTIPLE Christian leaders, Pastors, Chaplains, visited churches and I went to them in distress begging for help and they all resorted to minimizing me and repackaging what I said so that they may deal with the least impactful thing in my situation and pat themselves on the back for it. I don’t want to give up on Christ but I am one more closed door from doing so. Frankly, I don’t think it should be this hard for me to heal and find a leader who is actually willing to take the time to sit with me and not brush me off. Those who have, have been stumped and ended up telling me they couldn’t help me. I know the theology is false but it does feel like God is closing all the doors to help while simultaneously telling me not to stay stagnant. Christian leaders, you are a failure, and Jesus would be ashamed of y’all if He was still walking with us.