Fight-or-Flight Mode and Inability to Truly Relax

It's really such a shame, having a dream about your parents caring for you (in this case, my father) after you choose to open up for once, then waking up to reality (which, for me, was my father knocking on the door loudly and demanding me to get up. You can bet my body went into fight-or-flight).

I honestly think that I will never be able to truly relax because of how I have been (and am being) raised, at least for a very long time. I already have a hard time going to sleep because there is always tension and anxiety in my body; I'm always waiting for something to happen because of the hypervigilance they drilled into my being.

And it feels so unfair, but we're expected to just deal with it because it already happened and to just become a better person than them despite everything they put us through. That isn't fair. Where is the consequence for them? They've ruined our lives and we just have to be the bigger people? It hurts, it really hurts, not only going through it myself but knowing that other people are as well.