Joining the club! Need advice

I am almost 15 weeks with my second and my first is 8 months old. She will be 14 months when this baby is born and I am terrified.

Honestly I’m looking for advice on whether I need to speak to a professional?? I feel zero connection to this baby. I fell in love with my first after the first ultrasound and I’ve been obsessed with her ever since. Since I’ve had her I’ve dealt with some dark days here and there and have felt overwhelmed with work and being there for her mentally once I’m done work.

Now that I’m pregnant again I feel like I’m in the early days of pp all over again. I have rage when things aren’t going my way, I’ve had huge crying fits for seemingly no reason. I don’t want to tell anyone I’m pregnant for fear of negative reactions. I had zero reaction to seeing number 2s ultrasound. I have extreme guilt that I’m taking away my firsts childhood and I’m having a hard time seeing the light.

I’m worried that this feeling will just continue and I’ll not only ruin my firsts childhood but my second. I can’t tell if this is normal pregnancy hormones or if the fear is just valid or if I need to speak to a professional.