Tomorrow: the day that never comes.

Ever since our child was born 2½ years ago, our sex life has basically died, although it was already waning before she got pregnant, but afterwards well its completely gone. We have been intimate maybe…7 times in the past 2 years. Always initiated by me.

The routine is always the same: she is too tired, not in the mood, or says "tomorrow." But tomorrow never comes. She says she wants sex and misses it, but nothing in her behavior supports that. We will have a deep discussion, I will explain all of this, she will says she understands and knows she needs to change. And then nothing changes.

And before anyone suggests it, no, I am not dumping all the chores or mental workload on her. We split housework pretty evenly (she typically does laundry, I wash the dishes etc…) so let’s not pretend its anything chore related.

On top of that, I handle every single bill, every piece of paperwork, all the scheduling, taxes, DMV appointments, everything. I am also the only one who drives, so I rearrange my entire day to get her to and from work, and kid to and from day care. I also put our child to bed every night and often spend an hour or more in her room to get her settled.

All of that is to say, that I am also tired, and low energy, and taking on a bulk of the mental load, and always doing as much as I can to lessen her burden.

Despite all that, affection from her is basically nonexistent. We might have the occasional grope walking past each other (this goes both ways), but real closeness is gone. Kisses barely happen. Hugs only exist so I can crack her back, and if I hold her for more than five seconds she suddenly has "things to do” even if she had spent the last 30 minutes sitting on TikTok. She acts like I have endless energy while I am just as tired and worn out as she is. The difference is that I actually care whereas she doesn’t seem too.

I have been patient, especially the first year after she gave birth. I have given her space. I do not pressure her. It simply does not matter what the day looked like or how much or little she did. She is never in the mood.

I miss feeling wanted. I miss feeling like her husband instead of a roommate, driver, and house manager. At this point I am honestly wondering if "tomorrow" is just her polite way of saying "never."