it feels the end of the world

maine iss exam k lie 2 saal itni mehnat ki or exam jab dekha to bss ek thought aya ki jo prep kiya itna din raat.. sacrificed so many things for the exam and uss hisab se to kuch aaya hi nahi hua tha.. i was legit shaking in the exam centre.. Mere sirf 90 attempts soch smjh k hue lekin mere dimaag m teachers ki baate aati rhi ki cut off clear nahi hoga risk lo and i flunked like 10-15 ques which im regretting so much. Mai kal se answer ya score kuch nahi check kar paa rahi. For me this really feels like the end of the world because maine kuch backup nhi socha which was as good.. or mere ghar ki conditions bhi bhot khrab hai.. i can not take a drop in any situation and i feel it isn't even worth it because consortium will always keep doing this... I feel numb. I'm wide awake and I can't even get myself to cry properly. Ab yaha pe leaked bol rhe hn log hua h paper and im just... This is traumatic man.. really.. i should've never chosen to do this. First gen hoke bhi aukaat se bhaar sapne bc.