Please tell me your successes in recovering / coping with CPTSD

I’m (F26) struggling immensely. I have no one to talk too, and no one I really care to share with even if I did have someone to talk too. My outlook is very bleak I show indicators of functional depression. I have no desire to do anything, and the things I do participate in are to fulfill others expectations. I do things to try and help myself including eating healthy, exercise, stretching, listening to ambient noises, reading self help books, and prioritizing keeping my house clean. I do self care. I go to therapy 1x a week. I am trying to do well in my career. Albeit doing the “right things”, I have a bad outlook on life. The idea of doing this forever is haunting. I’ve felt this way since I was very young, my first time going to the psych ward being 14 because I lost a journal (which a teacher found and turned in) that had suicidal ideation in It. I go through better phases but always come back to this as my baseline. I have CPTSD and Disorganized attachment due to the way I was raised (childhood neglect, raised by parents with mental health disorders of their own so they were hot and cold in meeting my needs). In adulthood, I struggle to let people in and although I have a few close friends who I trust and love, I have no desire to share with them because I feel like such a burden. That’s a common theme for me, feeling like or worrying about being a burden. No one knows that I’m this deeply unhappy with life because I try my best to fake It till I make It. When I do show I am unhappy, it’s obvious how deeply uncomfortable I make people and It doesn’t make me feel better.

With all that being said, I think hearing that other people have made It through, broken this cycle, found light at the end of the tunnel will make me feel better right now and give me some hope.

TLDR: Can people please share their progress and maybe some tips or advice to help me feel a bit more hopeful that this isn’t what my life will always be like?

Thanks :)