I'm going thru some shi...

So I'm writing this today in hopes that my situation can help some of you out there. I started my journey at 32 after being sober curious for about year prior (taking extended breaks, etc). Been on a real hot streak this time and its been great. I'm going to celebrate the big number 5 on the 28th. BUT

Life has been hard lately. My dad was diagnosed with brain tumor and has been deteriorating rapidly. I've been pretty emotional lately. Anyway, yesterday I was in the grocery store and there were those cheap little shooters sitting near the checkout. I picked one up. Outta nowhere my mouth built up saliva in anticipation for that cinnamon burn. I put it down, but I felt that pull. That voice that tells you it'll help. It'll be just this one time. I'm a goddamm navy seal at sniffing this out. Here's what I do; I just process that intrusive thought. Why? When has alcohol ever truly helped me without requiring me to suffer in my health or life in general? And in my opinion it was shitty at helping me escape because lets be honest, we all remember having crys while drunk. I still felt whatever I was dealing with. I just felt like shit the next day afterward as well.

Anyway, I heard a good one lately that I wanted to repeat at the end here, "I didn't have a drinking problem, I thought drinking was the solution the everything."

IWNDWYT