I hate being so competitive

I don't feel the need to compete with people my age and btw I am 19. Ever since I have met the man I have been with which was 2 years ago and he is in his early 40s. I can't not compete with him. I see him as a competition through and through. I have also been picking up on his behavior and the disgusting and dismissive cold way he acts, talks and speaks. I want to excel in equestrian show jumping so I can look down at him and make sure he knows that he is below me, that I am better than him. I even started a business with my las name because he has businesses with his last name. I just started riding horses and will pay whatever amount of money and time it takes to show him that I am better. I even downloaded LinkedIn and made sure I had more followers than he did, same thing on instagram and I made sure him and I have mutuals so if anyone posts me or vise versa I want him to see and feel it. I have been feeling this way since forever and only now am I saying or rather typing it.

I don't know what's wrong with me but it's definitely working and allowing me to more forward and become bigger and better.