My dad’s a pedophile

Ten years ago my dad was charged with accessing and possessing child sexual abuse materials. I tried to go no-contact with him after this, but my mom decided to stay with him which made it very challenging.

My wife and I moved a few states away to distance and would only see them a few times a year. We tried to pretend everything was normal but last year she decided she couldn’t do it anymore and cut contact with him fully, which I supported.

Now I feel caught in the middle. My mom still won’t leave him. I want to stay close with her but I want to keep my dad at a distance.. I can’t really do both. And now that my wife (rightfully so) has cut contact with my dad I can’t have my parents up for visits. We recently bought our dream home which they will never see because my mom isn’t willing to come alone without him.

With the holidays approaching I feel very sad and almost guilty, even though I know I shouldn’t. And to make matters worse, my mom doesn’t seem to understand the reason for any of this and constantly cries. We’re also trying for children, which will only complicate things more because obviously they can never meet my dad. And as long as my mom is with him she can never have photos of our child.

I just needed to vent and get this out. I do go to therapy (twice a month for several years) but sometimes it’s nice to have an anonymous internet trauma dump. Thanks for reading.